If asked what was really important in my life, the ‘right’ answer would place God, education, and family high on the list. That’s the answer that I have been taught.  That’s the answer that something deep and sleeping and significant in me knows is true. But this isn’t the answer that I live by.

It’s interesting how it can be so very difficult to live the way we believe. But the very fact that I struggle to put God first, to focus on school and to give my relationships the attention they deserve suggests that while some part of me may believe they’re important, they’re not my true priorities. My actions suggest that an accurate accounting of my true priorities places me squarely at the top, and that I suffer from a bad case of foolish narcissism. Foolish because this narcissism is destructive – left to itself it simply consumes its host.

I don’t want to get overly philosophical or psychological – I can spend hours analyzing myself but that’s not really the point of this post. I want to change my true priorities.  More than want, something in me craves it, yet this kind of heart surgery is something I know I can’t perform on myself. This is something I know only God can do – and I’m at peace with that. There’s something wonderfully liberating to admit that. It’s a first step. I know some believe that this kind of thinking is stupid and that man can do anything he puts his mind to. Perhaps this is true for some, but I have never been stronger, more myself than when I allowed God into my heart. So, that’s how I plan on effecting this change.  My true priorities hopefully will become something like this:

• Maintain a strong communicative relationship with my Creator
• Express love to my future wife and children by communicating and spending time together
• Give school and work the attention needed to excel
• Serve others
• Make smart diet and exercise decisions
• Develop my talents

No better place than here, no better time than now.

Now listening to: Travis – Ring Out The Bell